The Unexpected.

It was October of my senior year in High school. Everything was going great, I was almost done with high school, and I had so many friends, I was so happy. My sister was getting married on the 15th of October, 2013 and everything was great until my dad went into the doctors to get a colonoscopy cause his 50th birthday was coming up. A few days after the wedding, my Mom and Dad call me and my little sister into their room. They wouldnt say why, or what they needed, so we go into their room, not sure what to expect. My dad is sitting in a chair in the corner and my mom is sitting on the ground at his feet. They then proceed to tell us that when my dad when into the doctors for the colonoscopy, the doctors found some strange looking lesions on his colon. So they decided to do a scan of his whole abdominal area. They find more lesions on his liver. My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 colon/ liver cancer. They started him immediately on harsh chemotherapy treatments. He would go in every 2 weeks to get another dose of chemotherapy, for the next 6 months. He did that 4 times over the next two years. 

But only a few days after my parents had told my little sister and I about my dad getting cancer, he comes into my room one night and we have a nice long talk, during which he proceeds to tell me that since I was the oldest sibling living at home I had to be strong for my younger siblings. Because only 4 days before my dad had been diagnosed with stage 4 colon/ liver cancer, my mom had also been diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I felt like my world had been torn apart. I had never been faced with such a huge trial before in my life, and I didnt know how to react. I tried to stay strong for my parents and for my siblings, but it started to become too heavy a burden for me to bear. I completely shut down. I didnt tell anyone except for one of my friends, and I made her promise she wouldnt tell anyone, not even her parents or sister. For 2 months no one except one person knew. I didnt want people to pity me, I wanted my parents to be better, to be healthy! I didnt want this!! I lived in such a dark place. I wasnt sure what the future held. I had only heard stories of cancer killing people, I didnt know they could survive. And I was scared. One day at school we had an assembly on cancer, and I couldnt sit there and listen cause I didnt need anymore cancer in my life. So I went to the seminary building cause I knew no one would be there, and I started playing the piano. And I was playing the fourth verse of 'Come Come Ye Saints' and reading what the words said. They read, "And should we die before our journey through, Happy day all is well, wen then are free from toil and sorrow too, with the just we shall dwell. but if our lives are spared again, to see the saints, their rest obtain, oh how we'll make this chorus swell, All is well, All is well." I started sobbing. I knew that everything was going to be alright and no matter what the outcome of this trial was, everything was going to be alright. But even afger that experience, I was depressed and antisocial, and miserable. I did terribly in my classes, I couldnt focus all I wanted was for people to leave me alone cause they had no idea what I was going through. I had been talking with my parents and they told me that the more people who know about this, the more people can pray for them. One day I went to a seminary class that I wasnt supposed to go to, but the teacher let me come anyways. I walk into that class and on the board someone had written a list of people to pray for cause they were going through hard things, so I walk up to the board and I write my parents names down and that they had been diagnosed with cancer. It felt like the whole school had exploded. every single person would come up to me in the halls and give me a hug or tell me that they were praying for me and my family. Which I was grateful for, but I was still in a dark place. I was depressed and I didnt know how to get out of it. I kept on telling my friends that I needed to change, but I didnt know what. Then one day one of my teachers who I was really close to pulls me into his office and we talk for about 2 hours. We talk about everything. How Im feeling, what Im going through, what my parents are thinking, what my Heavenly Father is thinking. And he straight up tells me that I dont have the spirit with me. He challenges me to read the scriptures and pray every day, and Every day I would check in with him and tell him that I had read and prayed the day before. And even just a week of doing that, he told me that he could already see the change in me, the change I had so desperately been looking for. 

After 2 years almost exactly since my parents had been diagnosed, the journey is still not over, but its now no burden that I carry, its part of my life. Looking back I can say that I have learned so much and grown so much, I know that God is just preparing me for my future, and if I can get through this, then I can get through just about anything. Not because this was hard because there will most likely be harder things ahead of me, but because I know what I need to be strong and to get through trials. Trials definitely change you, and thankfully this trial changed me for the better.

-Holly Miller

Even through her hard times, she still had a smile on her face. 

Maeser Pride

A Little Bit of Blood and A Lot of Tears: One Team's Journey into School History

I hate it when girls cry. It makes me uncomfortable, but tonight I was okay with it. My school’s girls soccer team was in tears after losing a hard-fought game in the state playoffs.  The team we lost to eventually went on to win the state championship, but that’s little consolation after a long season of hard work, injuries, fatigue, and growth. When the final whistle blew and my girls walked slowly off the field—heads down and eyes lowered in a combination of anguish and exhaustion—the tears began to come.

Our school, Karl G. Maeser Preparatory Academy, is a small charter school in Utah County. We’ve only been around for six years, and we’ve only had a soccer program for four. Four years ago, the soccer program was basically a bunch of girls who had played recreational soccer, if at all. The teams we play against are almost all private schools or traditional public high schools with great traditions of athletics and winning. Our region is one of the strongest, if not the strongest, in the state. Over the past several years, the top teams in the state have come from our region, including the state champions. Needless to say, when our program started we were not competitive. Not even close. But over the past four years things have quickly changed.

Over the summer many of the girls got together to begin strength and conditioning exercises and to play small-sided games with each other and some of the boys from the boys soccer team. The heat deterred few, and the level of focus and intensity of those girls who came was clearly evident. Early morning workouts and difficult strength training brought fatigue and, at times, exhaustion. But they became stronger. Working and training together nurtured a sense of camaraderie that would pay off in the future.

Our early games were somewhat disappointing. Close games that we lost provided moral victories, but those get old really fast. As the season progressed, frustration seemed to build as we sought to breakthrough that invisible barrier that so often seems to separate good teams from great ones. Sometimes the girls would witness the greatness within themselves, like in the 3-0 win over South Summit or the 2-1 overtime win over Rowland Hall, when Lauren Dodge scored off a corner kick. But those glimpses of greatness only served to frustrate them even more when they didn’t play as well as they—or I— knew we could.

As the season wound down, the girls seemed to finally find their groove. As a former player myself, I recognized when the light kicked on for many of the girls. Tired of settling for less, they started playing at a higher level—they began playing with a desire that sometimes bordered on the reckless. Players started sliding, no small feat on our cobbled-together field of dirt and rocks; they started stretching for balls they used to let scoot out of bounds; they started playing physical with players who were bigger and stronger. They had found a switch within themselves and had dared to flick it on.

Qualifying for the state tournament is still a new tradition at our school. Last year was the first year we qualified for the tournament, but we were bounced out in the first round. This year would be different. After a long and boring four hour drive to Moab, they played an excellent game and won 3-2 over Grand County. The next week they played 100 minutes of hard, fast soccer, including two overtimes, before defeating American Leadership Academy in penalty kicks—a victory made all that much sweeter because they had beaten us in our first game of the season, scoring in the last two minutes. That second round, quarterfinal game had already established this year’s team as the best the school had ever fielded, but it was the semi-final game that solidified their legacy.

Unlike most of these stories, my girls didn’t leave the field tonight with that coveted win. That would be too cliché. Instead, they trudged off the field after playing 80 minutes of the most intense soccer they had played all season. It wasn’t the prettiest soccer they had played, but it was the grittiest. It’s always humbling to see people try hard to do something, and it’s even more difficult to watch them give it their all and come up short. Especially after being on the journey with them over these past few months, I felt like I’ve come to know them better and develop stronger relationships with many of them.

Perhaps it’s because I have a sister still in high school, but I feel an almost older brother-like connection with these girls. Maybe it’s that bond that made it so hard for me to watch as their eyes got red and moist as we all sat together on the edge of the field, hearing the happiness and excitement that drifted over from the far side of the field. The girls who had worked the hardest cried the most, upset that they weren’t able to do give that little bit more that, in their minds, may have made a difference. I knew the blood on their knees and the bruises on their body would hurt later, but right at that moment the biggest pain was inside. Tears were the only way that pain could be expressed. As I sat there, looking around the circle at the girls I’d come to know, I realized just how powerfully we can feel connected to other people. Not because of the connectedness that I felt with them, but because of the connectedness they felt for each other. The tears were strongest when the girls embraced and consoled each other. Even the girls who didn’t play in the game, but who had been at every practice, had done every push-up and run every sprint, were crying.

I hate it when girls cry. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I try to say the right thing, but what comes out is usually wrong. When you’ve trained, and worked, and competed as much as great teams do, the comforting words of others ring hollow in your ears—drowned out by the beating of your heart that’s thumping in your ears, and their reassuring smiles are blurred by the tears that keep getting in your eyes. So tonight I was content to not say anything and let the silence—and the tears—fill the silence. I’m proud of my girls and they way they worked and struggled and fought. They made school history and forged a new legacy that will not be quickly forgotten. Good job, girls. The sting hurts right now, but the memories of these moments together will far outlast the pain. Maeser pride!

Missionary Mom

    Elder Riley Stonely has prepared all his life to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The day finally arrived when he would say good-bye to us at the airport for two years. Tears were shed and hugs seemed to last forever but alas, the time came when he needed to get in line with all the other missionaries early that morning. We all stood watching him as he walked away, waiting for him to turn around, look back, and glance at us one more time but to no avail. He walked straight ahead and NEVER looked back! Forward, pressing forward...He was ready to go and serve the Lord and it showed as all we saw was the back of his head until we couldn't see him anymore. Thus, began the two year mission.
 
    The first week since he left was a long hard week for the whole family. His siblings struggled with a mild case of the blues and I, as his mother, REALLY struggled with worry. I imagined all the possible things that could happen to him but by the end of the week, I found myself reciting the words to a song about missionaries. Those words comforted me in my time of loneliness and dispelled the worrysome feelings I had been feeling all week. I knew he was doing what the Lord wanted him to do and I also knew the Lord would take care of him and provide for all his needs as he serves faithfully. My heart was filled with an enormous amount of love and joy and I knelt in prayer literally petitioning to the Lord to keep him in the palm of His hands. I had been given the opportunity for the last 18 years of his life to take care of him...now, I was to hand him back to the Lord and entrust him to the care of his Heavenly Father. 
 
   Now, almost four months later, we are grateful for the opportunity Elder Stonely has to serve in the Tallahassee Florida Mission and to come to witness the personal and spiritual growth of his testimony. That is one of the most wonderful blessings any parent can receive is that of a child's testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ! We have also been blessed to hear of all the wonderful experiences and friendships he has made thus far with not only his companions but with members and non-members alike. He has always been happy to serve others but now he seems to thrive on service. He is happy and LOVES serving his mission, without any complaint. Sometimes I wonder if he is "playing" more than "working" because he seems to enjoy it too much but I know he is happy because he REALLY ENJOYS serving the Lord and the people to whom he has been assigned to work with. 
 
   I am almost certain that Elder Stonely will want to extend his mission and that would be perfectly fine with us. He will definately struggle to come home as I already know he will miss everyone in the mission field. Although, I know for certain that when he does come home, he will be looking forward, pressing forward to the family and friends that await him at home, NEVER looking back only looking forward to what lies ahead. In the meantime, we love and support him as we continue to fast and pray in his behalf as he serves as one of the Lord's faithful servant. We are happy knowing that he is happy and that is the greatest blessing of all for a Missionary Mom!;)
-Daisy Stonely

Mountains to Climb

This video is the greatest mormon message I have ever watched. We all have trials. But through the atonement and through faith in Christ, we can overcome anything. 

Mountains to Climb

Finding faith in the Lord Jesus Christ will help us have the power to endure and overcome even the hardest trials in life. (5:05)

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2013-01-003-mountains-to-climb?lang=eng

Month 4

I just got to my 4 months mark of being apart from my best friend. I have accepted a mission call to the Germany Berlin mission. Beginning January 20th, I will be right next to my sweet boy as he finishes out his mission. He has extended his mission so we will be home approximately at the same time. And oh how excited I am for that. Everyone tells me those 18 months are going to fly by and I will be happier than I have ever been in my entire life as I dedicate my life to the Lord for those 18 months. I am excited to feel that love constantly and enjoy the time I have serving those in Germany. Though at times I will struggle, with the language, homesickness, companions, struggle with the gospel, whatever it may be, I know that I will love the people by the end and I am not going to want to come home.

I am most excited to go through this together with Riley. At times it can be really hard to empathize and comfort him when in reality I have no idea how he feels or what he is going through. It will be nice to comfort him and discuss things with him because I know that it can be really difficult to confide in someone that has no idea what you’re going through. With time, having him gone is slowly becoming more of a reality. I don’t expect a text message to come, or for him to show up randomly, or to call me after a bad day. It gets easier one day at at time. Receiving his emails on Monday are the highlight of my week and something I constantly look forward to. This journey has been far harder than I ever thought it would be and at times extremely lonely. For the nearly two years we have done nearly everything together. I see people getting engaged, married, growing up, dating around, and girls who have their missionary coming home and I still have 21 months before that point.

Often people tell me, “you know its not going to work out. So much can change and happen in two year.” Its happened more times than I can count. “It’s rare for high school relationships to work out. You are just so young.” Easily once a week I get someone who comments things like this to me. I just wish they understood. It is completely discouraging. Elder Stonely is my very best friend. He makes me want to be better, to do better. He makes me laugh harder than anyone I have ever met.

These past 4 months I have put my trust in the lord to take care of him and to guide him to those who are searching for the truth. These feelings and prayers don’t just come from best friends or significant others of missionaries, but from those who also love and care for them. We don’t want him anywhere else than where he is. The Lord works in mysterious ways. There are times where I feel completely alone, discouraged, frustrated, angry, or completely inadequate and the Lord always ALWAYS put something in my path to let me know He is aware of me and aware of my struggles. Nothing beats the feeling of being important to the most powerful man that ever walked this earth.

Though this journey without my best friend has been everything but easy, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. He is right where he needs to be and he is absolutely loving it. The Lord has taken care of me. He is aware of my sacrifice. He is aware of whatever sacrifice we may be going through, even if it is just as small as being apart from your best friend. He is always aware.

               Halloween-Last year at his Aunt Stephanie's house. A memory we will never forget.

Florida Tallahassee Mission is the luckiest mission in the whole world.

Inspired

This is the beginning of something new for me. I have been given the assignment to come up with my own assignment to better my community and those around me. I have decided I wanted to do something that I can continue to do long after this assignment came to a close. Im not creative and struggle with things like this where I am forced to do something out of my comfort zone. I thought of a blog after many hours pondering. This blog will be filled with struggles of others and how they over came them, testimonies, thoughts and insights into becoming better people and climbing a tall mountain, only to realize the view was worth the hike.
Want to tell your story? Want to inspire others? Share your insights about how to best get through a bad day, or a bad week, or how you climbed your own mountain.
Email me at soccercrazysam@gmail.com